The lessons

Upon leaving my house on Thursday I was greeted by a 4 foot black snake slithering away from my back door and under my car.  My first response was to be extremely startled, awakening my son and all of his friends.  I knew this was not a dangerous snake, and we tried to get it into a good place for a photo, but were unsuccessful.  I posted the chance meeting on facebook and received an interesting response . 

It said that a snake is a sign of transmutation, dying to the old self and being reborn.  Well I don't know much about that snake stuff, but I knew that there was truth in my life to what she was saying.  I responded with how profound her words were to my life today.

This transmutation ideas (the action of changing or the state of being changed into another form, I had to look it up) was heavy  on my heart. Healing from an injury is hard but as a yoga teacher, a body worker, it has presented many challenges to me.  Not only has it affected my teaching, good or bad, but it has had a dramatic impact on my practice.

I Actually was able to allow myself to grieve the loss of my personal practice, as I knew it, yesterday. It was actually triggered from two things

1. a break in into my car and the loss of "stuff". 
2. finishing  a really good book,(which I equate to saying goodby to a really good friend)

But I recognized the emotion as being the same.  And let me tell you once I opened up to let go, there was nothing holding it back.  I was a mess, but a good mess as I was really letting it go.  I have been in a bit of a funk, feeling restless, and unable to be still yet very limited in my mobility.  I felt this energy building up and I new I need to release it.  I felt like a rubber band on the edge of snapping.

When you give yourself time to be still, and open your heart and really listen to your body, it is amazing what you learn.  I gave myself this opportunity to look at my Struggle with accepting my limitation in my practice. Grief is interesting, and I found I was struggling to understand this feeling.  It was both familiar and unfamiliar.  

  I am in a better place then I was yesterday, thank God as I was wound tight and hurting deep in my gut.  It was not until I experienced unrelated events that presented with the same emotion, was I able to truly recognize what this feeling was. 

So today as you approach your mat, set an intention to truly let go, release and surrender.  Listen to the message from your body, the story is not as important as the emotion tied to it.  See if you can allow yourself to be open enough and compassionate enough to yourself to let the emotion rise up, be expressed and release it. 

Going to this place in your practice is healing, yet it takes practice to find the comfort and confidence in you to be able to do this.

  See you, on the mat!